The second weekend of November felt like an Indian summer here in Colorado. It was 68 degrees outside, but there I was, sitting inside, decorating for Christmas.
I know, I know. That’s waaaaay too early. But before you start thinking I’m crazy, let me explain.
The past year brought a whirlwind of change, and the end of 2016 found me in uncharted territory. I was in a new place—physically, personally, and emotionally. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to feel, but what I did know is that I felt a little lost.
Ultimately, I think I was craving a connection to my past, to myself, to the person I used to be.
So what better way to remember those things than to put Christmas up early? I had boxes of Christmas decorations filled to the brim with my childhood ornaments, full of wonderful, warm, nostalgic memories. And since Christmas is my favorite holiday, I thought this was a good idea.
Although I was excited to decorate, as I opened the boxes, I began to worry that this activity might leave me feeling, well, a bit…sad. Christmases were going to be different now. This Christmas my daughter Zoey wouldn’t be there to wake up in the wee hours on Christmas morning. I wouldn’t hear the pitter-patter of footsteps down the hall as she raced to the tree and her stocking, excited to see what Santa had brought. She’d be there in the afternoon of course, but I knew it just wouldn’t be the same. Divorce changes things, and I’d be lying if I said there weren’t a few tears shed on my part. No matter the circumstances, change like that is hard. Lamenting the loss of the familiar, the loss of traditions, is a natural reaction, right?
But anyone who knows me well enough knows that this little emotional pity party didn’t last long. Because what good does feeling sorry for yourself do? We must Keep Calm and Carry On. We have to stay hopeful. We have to remember that things get easier. They get better. They turn into to new things. And new things? Well, they’re filled with so much wonderful hope and promise.
So I reached in a box and pulled out an ornament. Because when you don’t know where to start, you just have to begin.
Continue reading “Week 1: New Beginnings | Everyday Nostalgia”